Today I am still thinking along political lines, sorry... I was chatting with Val in the car (she has views similar to mine, that the rich are doing their best to get "all the things" at the expense of the non-rich, and the non-rich are helping by voting the rich into office), but she is so passionate about it that she gets all riled up when she talks (unlike me, as I am apparently so jaded at this point that I just figure that this is the way of things, and my goal is to do my best to NOT end up living in a cardboard box by the side of the interstate). Perhaps that is selfish of me, I often feel that saving myself and my friends and family is not enough, that I should figure out how to make the world a better place, more equitable, and save it all - or at least more than the few dozen people that I actually know. However, I have never felt comfortable doing things that would affect the world at large, that isn't how I see myself being valuable - living my life as I should: I remember going to a protest march in the early 1970's - it was long, and boring, and not very uplifting and ultimately, to me, quite pointless. I don't even remember what it was that we were protesting. And I have read about men like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and even Martin Luther, and I think "Crap, I'm not those guys, and I don't want to be". I guess for the short term, I'll just keep blathering in this blog and see if I can get some of my thoughts a little more cogent. But really, I want to... affect stuff? No that's not quite right. I know that ultimately there is no reality other than now - no legacy: the universe will end, one way or another, and only our interactions while we're here interacting really mean much. Or anything. Doing what we are here for, each of us as an individual, figuring out for ourselves what that is and actually going for that one thing. But I've been wondering my whole life, and I thought I had found it in Philly - dancing and many, many friends - but now I'm here, in a way starting over, in a way not. So strange, so familiar. But what is next...