Woo hoo, the shed is all ready to be moved - last step once it's in place is to put on the doors, there is a decent chance that I'll have it finished before the rains start tonight (if the rain actually starts - this is the fifth or sixth time they've predicted substantial rain, and there hasn't been even 1/2 inch, yet). No dreams about lawyering today, my massage friends will be happy. Charles Manson is slated to marry a 20something girl soon (he's 80), so I guess if I become an infamous murderer and cult leader, I could get young women to sleep with me for several decades, yet. Somehow I don't think it's worth it.

OK, that was 3 days ago (above), and I fell into a deep, inconsolable apathy. I didn't write anything - I did manage to do some homework, and Dan helped me move the shed (it is now finished and filling up with stuff - we got it moved into place about 3 hours before the rain started), but then I just lost all desire to write ANYTHING, even this normal stream of consciousness crap (that flows so effortlessly from my finger tips). I think that is at least in part because I started thinking about doing my Christmas Letter (I actually created the WORD doc, wooo!), and this last year has been such an astounding cluster-fuck of disaster which I haven't really yet processed emotionally that I just couldn't extricate myself from that morass of emotion for a while. I suppose that I need to write my fabled Christmas Letter "as is", and then try to jolly it up some (I don't want any of my friends shooting themselves after reading my jolly little missive, after all), maybe that will start me healing a bit (so far I have mostly been ignoring self-work in favor of building sheds and moving 3000 miles across the country and starting a new career via school and finding and making new friends and discovering local dance venues that I can enjoy). Maybe I haven't been doing nothing, although sometimes it feels that way. I'm sorry but you're likely to get a few more days of this dreary stuff (especially with Thanksgiving coming up and me not hosting a party, or even planning to cook anything). I will now "publish" this, more so that there isn't a huge week long gap, rather than because it's clear and insightful and pity (but feel free to disagree with me if you like). More soon, really!